I Spy

I have one week left of college. A Chemistry exam, a Psychology exam, a History exam, and a paper for film on how whether Lynch is an a genius or not does not matter; Eraserhead is still incomprehensible and has a lot of flaws that do nothing but detract from the overall "message" of the film. In other words, I am about two shakes away from my college diploma. I am as confused as I have ever been. I used to not think about the future because I never felt like I had one. Now, my future is perfectly real and perfectly unsettling. I know a few things which I have reiterated time and time again. In fact I think there just might be a recently deceased horse in the corner of my room which needs a good beating (thanks for the reference babe and frankly I am pretty sure you are my one and only reader).

Anyway...the point is that I have never felt more scared of the looming future...but the future isn't looming in a negative way, more of an uncertain way. I want everything to go well. I want to get a job I love, marry the girl I love, and have a really happy life. I realize those definitions will warp with time, but I really don't want to compromise. To paraphrase a certain young lady, " I would rather go down in flames attempting something I love than staying safe in a corner-office job I hate..." Essentially I would rather fail at something I love than do a job that is safe. So let's raise our glasses to failure and hope for the best.